


lonely and cold

by Marvellous



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:27:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvellous/pseuds/Marvellous
Summary: it's christmas and dennis finds himself all alone.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	lonely and cold

**Author's Note:**

> some belated, unrealistic christmas fluff...my apologies
> 
> title from the song 'lonely this christmas'

For all of Dennis’ distaste regarding the Christmas season, he had never been on his own. 

When he was a kid, Dee was always there and they’d cry together after the disaster that always came on the 25th. When he got older, there was Mac and Charlie...but mostly Mac. They didn’t do anything, not really. Mac tried, Dennis nearly 100% of the time refused, Mac got them both presents (that Dennis picked out against his will, mind you), and Mac decorated, and Mac would hum annoying Christmas music as he failed miserably at baking cookies. Dennis would scoff and they would eat the middles of the burnt things anyways. All because of Mac. 

He never really had to be alone.

Then things changed.

Mac started dating. And yah, maybe that was Dennis’ fault. He had realized that as soon as everything had clicked. He knew there was so much there, a lifetime of love...and him and Mac, they would never be perfect, but God, they could be good. That scared Dennis more than he could put into words, and he pushed Mac further away because of it, because it was too much. 

His best friend tried to shoulder his way back but Dennis just ignored him, and he tried not to think too hard about the heartbroken look in Mac’s eyes whenever he snapped at him, because he knew he’d break. 

So Dennis got his wish, and Mac started to distance himself. Dennis could see the struggle every time he reached out to touch him, or refrained from saying his name quite as much. It stung, but Dennis knew it had to be what was best. Why should Mac waste his time with Dennis, really? In a way, Dennis truly thought he was doing Mac a favour. He was being a good friend.

Now, though, it was Christmas Eve, and their apartment was bare because Mac was hardly there anymore. He had some boyfriend he had been fucking around with for a few months and apparently he was enjoying a real family Christmas. Just like the fucker wanted.

Dennis was alone, cold because he refused to touch the heat, and counting all the reasons he had to be bitter. They were all his own faults, of course, but his mind desperately tried to pin them on other people.

There were no cheesy decorations messily placed around their home, no lights, no half dead tiny christmas tree that Mac hauled home from a tree lot dumpster, no carols filling the air and no need to yell at Mac to turn them down. It was just another fucking day, and Dennis was all by himself. Like it should be. He could call Charlie, or Dee...but then he was sure he’d seem even more pathetic than he felt. 

He curled into the couch a little more and his brain started to shut off into a mindless haze as he stared at the flashing TV screen, some Christmas cartoon that he was pretty sure Mac turned on every year.

Then, the doorknob on the front door started to rattle and a flustered looking Mac burst through, hair sticking up every which way like the wind had been pulling at its ends, cheeks rosy and his jacket wide open. Surely he wasn’t keeping warm that way. 

Dennis sat up in shock and switched off the TV just as fast, and they were caught in each other’s eyes, a million words unspoken under the current between them.

Mac opened his mouth slightly before shrugging his jacket off onto the floor, and offering a small, shy smile to Dennis instead. Not near as bright as it used to be, something more reserved was there now, where only relentless love had been before. 

Dennis watched Mac as he disappeared into his room and came back seconds later with a ratty looking box.

“I uh...realized I forgot to decorate this year,” Mac muttered without looking at Dennis, pulling out strings of tinsel that were falling apart and chipped tree ornaments, “I couldn’t find a tree. Sorry.” 

Swallowing around a lump in his throat, Dennis couldn’t find anything to say, his blue eyes glaring at Mac as he simply watched him instead. Mac went about his business without much fuss, putting things on shelves with little thought behind placement, placing the same cinnamon scented candle on the coffee table that he did every year, plugging in the red and green lights and stringing them on hooks above their window.

It was a mess, but it was a mess that Dennis hadn’t realized he counted on so much. The familiarity of the one eyed Santa figurine and the demonic looking elves, the lights that were mostly burnt out...it made the tension in his shoulders dissipate. 

And then Mac started humming. Dennis wasn’t sure which Christmas song it was, they all sounded the same to him, but coming from Mac it sounded like a tune that he’d known his whole life.

It was over far too quickly, what must have been twenty minutes instead felt like fifteen seconds.

“Well...I guess that’s it,” Mac looked around the apartment proudly, hands on his hips, “Good?”

Dennis bit his tongue, stopping the snide remark to look around one more time and he nodded, slowly, “Yah, it-it’s good.”

“Do you...want me to stick around, Dennis?” Mac raised his eyebrows and Dennis could see that last little spark of hope in those brown eyes. 

Why. Why did Mac have to be insistent, why couldn’t he just leave Dennis to be the asshole that he was and give up on him already.

Cause he loves you, you fucking idiot, Dennis could hear a voice inside him scream.

And you do too, but you’re too chickenshit to admit it. Anyways, you really think that’s a good idea? It’d fuck you guys up even more. So push him away. Do it!

“It’s fine, Mac,” Dennis turned his attention to his phone, hoping Mac didn’t pick up on the quiver of his lip, “You should go be with someone who gives a fuck, really.”

Mac inhaled sharply and nodded, “Right.”

The door slammed, and Dennis had to wonder if it was all just in his head. A vivid hallucination. But the decorations were up, and the turmoil inside him made him certain it wasn’t.

Things spilled over and the tears rolled down his cheeks without warning, trickling all the way down to his neck as he pawed at his eyes with the heels of his palms.

“Mac, wait!” he shot to his feet, hoping he could still catch him, but when he opened the door Mac fell to the floor with a surprised gasp, having been leaning against the door in the hallway. His eyes were red as he looked up at Dennis.

“I can’t leave...I don’t have anywhere to go, I couldn’t do Christmas without you, Den. I told him I couldn’t and I left...I’m sorry,” Mac practically sobbed as he looked up at Dennis, “It just didn't feel right.”

“I-I know,” Dennis stammered as he crouched down beside Mac, putting a hand over one of his, “I know.”

Mac propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Dennis, and maybe that little hopeful spark was still there after all.

Dennis caved to the direct eye contact he’d so dreaded before, and found it wasn’t the Earth-shattering event he’d built it up to be. It was just Mac. It was Mac, it was always Mac. 

He hadn’t really stopped crying, but he tried to smile a little and all of a sudden Mac was pulling him close, a hand curving around the back of Dennis’ neck as they fell back to the floor together. Mac was half in the hallway and Dennis awkwardly lying on top of him, but it was warm and like everything Dennis never knew he wanted so badly. 

“Merry Christmas,” Mac murmured without pulling away too far, grinning from ear to ear.

Dennis’ eyelids were heavy as he smirked, “Hm...maybe.”

**Author's Note:**

> as always, thanks for reading, i know this one was a bit of a mess!! kudos and comments always much appreciated <3


End file.
